Halfway Done

A friend pointed out a terrifying thought to me; as of December 25, Max is halfway done with his childhood! In another nine years, he will be a legal adult, able to vote... and drive... and... leave. Oh dear, my mommy heart is not ready for that, not at all.

He has been maturing at a breakneck pace; each day he surprises me with new insights and new behaviors. Recently, after trying to come to an agreement with his brother about what game to play, he came to me and informed me, "Mom, sometimes when you really want to do one thing and someone else really wants to do something else, it's better to come up with a third thing to do. That way, you both don't get to do your first choice, but you get to do something together!" We had a good chat about compromise and cooperation, and while he's still working on a full understanding of those concepts, he seems wiser every day.

As he grows, his powers of observation have matured as well. In the past, he hasn't had much time to stop and notice how his behavior affects others. His brain and body just moved so fast that he was a bit oblivious to surrounding circumstances. Recently his ability to empathize has sprung up seemingly out of nowhere! When all the other kids are yelling at me for one reason or another, Max can sense when I'm about to boil over and often will begin trying to call off his siblings. If I have to remove myself from the room so I don't lose it, he's the first to come find me and snuggle next to me to apologize, even if he was not the reason for my frustration.

He has always been terribly affectionate; I know that the quickest way to his heart is to snuggle with him on the couch under a soft blanket. No matter what has happened between us, no matter what I've made him do (or not let him do), he will simply melt into my arms. I am so thankful that this has yet to show any signs of waning. I don't know what I would do if someday Max didn't want to be hugged. I wouldn't recognize him!

And thankfully, he still has that joie de vivre and unbounded curiosity that make him who he is. I have often thought that I'm thankful it's Max who has a Christmas birthday. He doesn't feel overshadowed by the holiday, in his mind it's the more the merrier! More celebrating, more food, more presents for everyone, more decorations, more chaos, more attention, more excitement! As you can see, he insisted on dressing up like an elf for the day.

This little man has been such a blessing to me. I hope to take time and sit back to soak in his last year of single digits! His first decade will be done before I know it!

 

Christmastide

**I just found this blog post that I never published! I know it's almost Easter, but I still want to have this available for my own memories. It seems like a world away already!**

As always, it's well into January before I get around to writing about Christmas. The task seems so daunting; so much goes on in those few days! But I don't want to forget the fun we had and the joy of sharing it with family. A week before Christmas, my parents invited us down for a gingerbread making party. It's become a tradition of ours, to the point that the kids ask about it all season. Some years I bring the kids down on a weekday and we decorate the houses and have a laid back afternoon. This year, we were invited down for a whole pre-Christmas celebration complete with pizza and a showing of my mom's favorite Christmas movie: The Grinch who Stole Christmas- the original half-hour cartoon, of course. Even my grandparents joined us for the fun!

On Christmas Eve, we donned our festive attire and went to Mass. My mom had three of the five kids on or near her at all times, making things pretty easy on me... thanks Mom!

We came home to our traditional Clam Chowder and a host of other goodies, we played some games and read some books, and even managed to get a really nice family picture! Seriously, look at us!

The next morning we went down to my parents house to continue celebrating. This year, the favorite Christmas gifts were not toys but clothes! Audrey received ballet clothes and Edith a hockey jersey, and I think they have yet to take them off. 

 

 

We spent the entire day relaxing, eating, and playing games... just the perfect way to celebrate Christmas. 

Then, because we live by the "go big or go home" rule of life, we rang in the new year with Paul's side of the family! Never too much feasting, I say! More cards, books, laughs, games, and food were had, and I even managed to stay awake for most of it.

I absolutely love our house around the holidays. We can host as many people as want to show up; there's always room for one more. On January 2, the NEWLY ENGAGED Patrick and Anne came through on their way back to school, so we got to hear the whole story firsthand! We are so excited for another family wedding!!

Finally after about a week of nonstop festivities, it was time to get back to real life. Whew! We didn't even travel this year but that sure didn't slow us down! Now it's time to decompress, but it won't take long before I'll want to do it all over again!

Party of Seven

I don't often sit back and think about the size of my family. I mean, sure I think about it in numbers (Five kids! Seven people!) but I don't feel like I have a big family. We are together all the time and it can get overwhelming, but even when they are all vying for a place on my lap during story time I never think, "Oh my gosh I have so many kids!" I simply have all of the children that I have, no more, no less. 

But looking over the family photos that my good friend Jessica Shurts took for us this winter, it suddenly struck me... I truly do have my own brood! For some reason, seeing us all together in one photo as a nicely coordinated family of seven gave me a brief glimpse of what our family looks like from the outside. And for some reason the jump from four to five was a big one, visually, even for me.

At Audrey's ballet class last week, I was chatting with one of the dads there. He was commenting on how cute and smiley Blaise was. I talked about his colicky early days, how much his big sister loved him, and then came the inevitable question: "So is he your second baby?" 

After a moment of inner turmoil I attempted to respond nonchalantly, "No, our fifth. He has two big brothers and another sister." 

"Oh. Wow." the man responded, and he was off like a shot. 

Another day, I took all of the kids to Caribou coffee for a treat before our library visit. We all trotted in and I ordered drinks while trying to keep Edith out of the chips, rock the stroller back and forth to keep Blaise happy, and direct the big three to some chairs by the fire. We got looks from everyone in the place; a mom with her five kids out in public is something to notice! I tried not to feel self-conscious. 

My natural inclination is to take offense when someone comments on (or reacts to) my family's size. I assume they are judging my lifestyle choice, and I feel the need to show how well behaved my children are. "See? I can handle having five kids! Watch me!" I figure they are having all sorts of thoughts about my irresponsibility or religious indoctrination or some other hogwash, and I get mad. But looking at our family photos this year gave me a lightning bolt of a realization.

I have a big family! It's just a fact. 

The reality is that when people see or hear about the size of my family, they are probably just reacting to the fact that not many people have five kids anymore! It's surprising and unusual. But since when is it bad to be surprising and unusual? 

Strangers don't see the individual children that I see; they simply see a horde of little kids or hear a big number, and react to that. I have been given the blessing of being able to raise these five little souls, and I know them better than anyone else on earth knows them. I see each as an irreplaceable individual, but I can't expect any random person to have that same ability. 

My goal for myself this year is to proudly own the fact that I have a big family. I will revel in the surprise that it causes when people find out. I will assume the best when I encounter those who see us as unusual, and I will continue to love on these five gorgeous children that God has blessed us with!